Ideas and Stuff

Ideas and Stuff


No. Can’t be. Impossible. 

Pretty sure I only left the house once.

No, I’ve been gone—


*Counts freckles*


Oh what the finicky fuck (I’m trying this thing where I swear less, see?)

You’re right though, it’s been an actual mouth. Moth. Month? I don't even know it’s been so damn long. Game of Thrones still a lifestyle though?


I’m embarrassed.

Look away dammit!

Just… just please pretend to read a rather clever joke here and we can all move on, because I guess this post really is overdue then. 

Just like all my library books. 


WOW, that was god awful, I’m a bit rusty here. It’ll get better. Pinky promise.

We just need to give it time. My darkly sarcastic and somehow self loathing sense of humour will return if we coax it long enough. 


“Come here ya piece of shit, Daddy’s home.”


I don’t know.

I don’t know anything.

Maybe that should be this post’s topic. 

How none of us know anything and we’re all going to die.

Oh, good, it’s back.

Welcome home my friend.

So how you been ladies and gentlemen? 


Well get on board folks. Destination, life.

Alright, overcompensating now. 

Dialling it back.

Anyway, I thought today we could take some time from the very busy schedules we all lie about to discuss where we find ideas to write about. Or paint. Or play. Or sculpt. 


*Flashback to me slamming some clay together*



I know sometimes this can feel like an overly discussed topic, but I’m asking because I’m genuinely curious. It’s something that’s actually quite helpful to read and talk about. I’ve spoken with some folks this week who’ve revealed a few of the strange things they do to find new ideas.

Turns out some people actually go to a fight clu—

I mean, what?

In all seriousness, after hitting the proverbial wall and losing the interest to write, I sure know I’ve got a few crafty things up my sleeve. In fact I’m often amazed by my own creativity. I’m awesome. You know sometimes I even—


It’s Scotch.

It’s just Scotch. 

But maybe you guys are more exciting? I mean by god it’s impossible not to be. Maybe you hit the local pub for a wild night out? Call up that one crazy friend? Hunt some emus? 

I don't know, you do you, I don't judge.

Plus emus are actually huge assholes. 

But it’s curious though because I’ve found getting new ideas is almost like a double edged sword. You’d think that the more you write, the better at it you get and the less keyboard-to-face smashing there is. But then again at the same time you wonder if the more you write, the less ideas there are as you keep using them? Maybe neither, or maybe both? Are your ideas limited or limitless?

Much like my current location, I don’t know. 

Sometimes I struggle to get dressed so truth is I’m probably not the best person to ask, but they’re interesting thoughts to think, no?

I met a guy who said when he struggled to find an exciting twist he’d go ask the first stranger on the street for the craziest thing that had ever happened to them. 

It’s funny, ‘cause he’s now being subpoenaed for several different homicide cases.

Kidding. Kinda. But although I’m not sure something like that would work for me (because I mean ew, people) it’s certainly a unique tactic. And hey, I mean if it works it works. Murder confessions or not.

So where do I get my ideas from you don't ask?

Well the boring truth is that most of them come to me when I’m doing something completely unrelated, and a thought rather rudely interrupts my other super important thinking until it takes over. Usually I then have to rush home to write it down because I’m actually just a million goldfish stacked in some human clothing. 

No… don’t ask about the logistics.


“You’ll see the numbers for this quarter are much higher than expe—



That’s a poor attempt at a joke, but comedy aside I’ve come close to situations where I’m borderline ruining something else because my brain’s a dumb stupid.

Nearly lost a six-year-old at the zoo once.

But I mean hey, the kid did say he wanted to touch the lions. 


Dialling back again. 

Anyway, point is, I’ve got no real answer as to how I personally come up with ideas and story twists. Mostly just a lot of staring and promising to murder mouse cursors and their entire families. If cursors have families, I don't know, I’m not a genius.

Unlike me, some people do have exciting methods though, and it’s great, just SO great, but in this one particular case I guess I’m the boring example.

Because ya’ll know normally I’m exciting as fuck.

Actually, sidetrack, but I’m fairly confident that if you could manifest Twitter into a person it would turn out a lot like me. You know? Sarcastic to the point where you probably need to start worrying?


Well that’s a story for another time I guess.

I suppose this is all to ask you folks what helps you to get where your going. What helps with the ideas? 



I’m curious because reading about what others do either helps to justify the truly lazy piece of shit I am, or gives me ideas I really want to try, but probably never will. Still makes me feel good though.

So, ending on that high note of self praise, I guess that’s it for now. Next post to be up in a few days once someone posts my bail. 



*Starts to laugh a little too hard*


But do comment with the methods you folks use to get inspired, I’m actually quite interested. Really hoping I’m not the only sad fool to crawl from his couch to his office and back again, hoping something exciting happens along the way. If you can top asking random strangers for their deepest darkest secrets, that’s awesome, and I’ll totally Fedex you an emu.

Word of warning though, they’re huge assholes. 

Stay classy folks.